These Problems: Avoiding the Comparison Trap

We recently had a problem of ants coming in the house. They came into Gwen’s (5yo), room and marched back and forth along the chair rail. There wasn’t anything at the end of the trail, no forgotten juice cups, or fruit snack wrappers, or anything else foodish, they were just on the hunt, I guess. But my daughter was upset by their presence. We put some Windex (side note, the bug man said Windex is better than raid for ants) along the trail and tucked her into bed.

My daughter announced, “I wish I was Brooke.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I don’t want to change families or anything, but Brooke doesn’t have these problems.”

These problems. Just like that I saw myself. I saw myself every time I compared my life to someone else’s and assumed they didn’t have any problems. Even now writing this, I’m wondering if anyone else has ever had an ant invasion, maybe no one can relate.  

Just because we can’t see other people’s problems doesn’t mean they don’t have any. Brooke probably thinks Gwen’s life is perfect, she doesn’t know about the ants.

Everyone has problems. We know that. But we still compare ourselves to others without ever knowing the full picture. I told Gwen that and asked her not to compare herself to others. We all have our own unique journey. Sometimes are problems are bigger than other people’s, but most of the time someone around us is having a bigger problem than we are. So, let’s face our problems, deal with them and be kind to others, because we never know what these problems look like in their life.